Alpha Men And Women Dating Advice

(Cautionary: Proceeder Discretion is Advised. Extreme Inappropriate Offensive Wordings in what you’re about to read. Proceed at your own Risk.)

Ok, so you’re out on a Friday night, meeting lots of chicks, having fun, your vigor is charged, your attitude is unstoppable, you never experienced life this before…and then all of a sudden some jerk approaches you and calls you “stupid”, “loser”, “pathetic”, etc.

Your heart misses a beat, your physique begins to boil up, you ear stings “Oh no, I did not just hear that!” Your first reaction is that you are inclined to pound this individual out KO. … or alternatively you’re a mental barrier thinking of a witty response to attack him back, and so just wait there with crickets heard in the distance until you had your humiliation.

If you’ve at any point encountered an altercation when out, it would generally go something like this:

The first individual would say “Screw you!”. The other person would then yell “Screw you motherscrewer, I will screw you up!” right back, and the other fellow would say “Screw you!” another time. This endless “Screw-You Combat” gets admittedly immature and pathetic and even humorous quickly.

They can think of anything else to say besides “Screw You!” to spar the other person with. That is their reptilian-brain taking over instead of taking a step back using their higher thinking neocortex-brain to generate responses.

A lot of guys have asked me how to take care of insults and offensive verbal attacks that can happen whenever you go out because other insecure guys will be threatened by your presence to the girls they have eyes on, but have no fear, after today you will acquire some devastating tactics to take care of these situations.

From personal experience…I was messed with a lot when I was younger, and I pondered about this like a mad scientist and developed ways to counterattack this into easy “social structures” to be applied over and over again.

What I’m about to show you really work and are extremely effective to counter these malicious people, but never use them for evil.

Therefore, I’d like to devote today’s lesson exclusively to “the Art of Conversational-Combat Jujitsu” training.

Suit up your Jujitsu-uniform and prepare to get an instant black belt right now!

When somebody does verbally attack you, the simple social structures are very effective in breaking them down.

Most people would tell you to just simply ignore it, like it is no big deal, and that is what they told you back in grade school, and that is fine; however, that doesn’t actually stop the attacker from continuing attacking at a later point.

You can ignore them, but I challenge you to social experiment, besides, would you rather feel a little more satisfied if you could have fun with it and stretch your creative muscle?

If anything else, go with the flow, and never get defensive and succumb to their frame.

The frame you want to come from is, “How can I make the attacker look pathetic because of his action?”

When meeting girls, there will be people mess up your game, and you have to know and be prepared to defend yourself that reverts their own attack back on them to make them be the idiots they set themselves out to be.

A reflection attack, similar Aikido, the form of martial arts where you redirect your opponent’s energy attack right back on them. Reverse and reflect the damage back on them so the aggression is not associated with you.

How come?

Ever notice how in a fight, whoever is the one (Person A) getting beaten up by the other (Person B) is always perceived as the victim and your knee-jerk urge is to just step in to help that Person A who is getting crushed up by Person B, even though it probably never came to mind that Person A could be the one who afflicted Person B initially, but it’s superficially unfortunate that Person B is better at physical confrontations, furthermore Person A is playing the “victim’s card” to draw surrounding sympathy to bruise Person B.

Unfair isn’t it?.

This situation happens a lot with girls.

A guy smacks a girl, and then hell breaks loose for that guy as all the surrounding guys jump in and will bash the crap out of that guy who hit that girl, regardless of what she may have done to him first.

The victom’s card is at played.

That’s why we want to redirect the damage caused by the attacker back on them to let the fool destroy himself from within; and you’re noble enough to discard the victim’s card

The vulnerable spot is to shine the spotlight on them and what they are doing says about them, NOT on what they’re actually say.

Example:
“What’s with the hair dude? Ever heard of a haircut.”

“Somebody seems jealous.”

Candidly, I don’t like doing this because I rather have the guy as a potential good friend and possibly add him to my social entourage, but there is a certain time when you have to let diplomacy go out the door.

So here are the things you can do. Remember a smile is always needed to be accompanied.

Some of my automatic default blunt answers would be “Cool”, “I know”, “That’s awesome”.

And now the social structures you can use over and over again to guide your responses are:

- The Question Counterattack

Counterattack with a Question. Respond everything they say with a question.

Example:
Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!
You: Are you looking to become one as well?

- The Expert Counterattack

This technically makes them seem like a big-know-it-all pedant.

The formula of this social structure is you would start off with, “Yeah, and you would know because…” and whatever they said to you, aim it right back on them.

Example:
Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!
You: Yeah, and you would know because you’re the expert on stupidity.

Attacker: You’re a pussy!
You: Yeah, and you would know because you have the largest pussy hole of them all.

- The Sarcasm Counterattack

Agree and Exaggerate to the Ridiculous Extreme with sarcasm

This is the one you can have the most fun with because you are simply just going with the flow and agreeing with the other person but exaggerating so much to the extreme that it becomes hard to take anything the interaction goes less than a joke.

Example:
Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!
You: Definitely my good man! I’m the biggest stupid idiot of them that I cry about it all the time and have to see a therapist 3 time a day, everyday, every year, that I’m broke, homeless, nobody loves me, everybody hates me and never talks to me except for you. You’re my new best friend of good ole buddy ole pal.

- The Clueless Counterattack

Silent, Don’t Register, Stale-Face, Eye-blinking…Hmmm?

You don’t have to do much with this one. Don’t waste your time even giving the attention or response they want from you by being non-reactive…with a little bit of added spice.

You’re just giving them a continuous blunt “Hmmm?”, with a stale-face blinking your eyes like what that person said didn’t register. It has to be somewhat apparent that they know you understand what they are saying but just not bulging, like you’re toying with them.

Doing this over and over again, and constantly making them repeat themselves to hopefully annoy them, they would usually quit, if not use the other counterattacks.

Example:
Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!
You: Hmmm? (stale-face, eyes blinking)
Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!
You: Hmmm? (stale-face, eyes blinking)
Attacker: I said you’re a stupid screwing idiot! (getting more annoyed)
You: Hmmm? (stale-face, eyes blinking)
Attacker: Need your ears cleaned out?
You: Hmmm? (stale-face, eyes blinking)

- The Assumptive Counterattack
Make up an ludicrous assumption about the attacker that makes them look like idiot of what they are saying or to your favor.

Example:
Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!
You: Oh so you must work with retards then.

Have you now realize the convenience of knowing just some simple social structures to generate unique responses every time, contrasted to memorizing x-amounts of clever witty comeback lines that you would probably forget?

But Gabriel, what if somebody do say “Screw you!”?

Hot Girl: Screw you!
Me: You wish. (Assumptive Counterattack)

Asshole: Screw you!
Me: If I were into dudes like you, you would be the last person.. (Assumptive Counterattack)

Did you realize the frame I put on the interaction with my response to the girl laying it so that it appears the girl wants to have sex with me? How’s that for a tease for a future installment?

Always focus on the other person, on the “you”, not on “I”. This gets them to respond and justify their own words, turning down from being offensive to defensive, then let them be destroyed from the inside.

To put it all together, this is what happened to me when an attacker came up to me when I was talking to a girl:

Attacker: Ewww…

Me: Awww, poor baby boo needs his mommy to clean up his “ewwwiee” mess? (Question Counterattack that makes him look pathetic)

Attacker: What’s with the shirt?

Me: Hmmm? (Clueless Counterattack)

Attacker: I said what’s with the stupid shirt!

Me: You like it. Wanna buy it? (Question Counterattack) It will look so much better on you. (Assumptive Counterattack)

Attacker: Homo!

Me: Yeah, and you would know…that would make you the biggest queer in the room then. (Expert Counterattack that makes him the gay one instead)

Attacker: Screw you! (finally lost composure)

Me: Sorry, not into dudes. (Assumptive Counterattack)

Notice how the more he continued on attacking, the more he continued to shoot himself in the foot and became the victim of his own aggressive attacks. All I did was reflect all the attacks back on him.

Primarily, let the attacker dig his own grave, with no guilt spill on you.

These social structures you have will be able to bring down the most vicious attackers, so please don’t be the conflict-illiterate with the only response “Screw you!”…don’t want to corrupt the kids around you.

These are my secret weapons, use them wisely.

Now that you’re verbally armed, earned your black-belt.

Prepare for the Art of Conversational-Combat Jujitsu?
And remember…don’t go out intentionally looking for fights.

That’s how you destroy the bully to get the girl!

Finally, it’s time I talk about college game…

Want to meet lots of hot girls from colleges, even though you don’t go to their school?

College…the haven of young gorgeous girls finally away from the rulings of the parents for the first time…without any rule or restriction, but what if you don’t know anybody or go to their school?

I have built my social circle from scratch time again, coming out of high school with no friends, then moving to a collge without knowing a single soul, and moved to brand new city being a total stranger.

Doesn’t matter what your situation is.

For this case, it is a social networking thing. Since you don’t go to their university and don’t know the people, here’s what I recommend you do.

Go to any social networking site, preferably Facebook and MySpace, and search for people who are in the college networks you want to meet. Go through the profiles and add people who might seem like popular guys who are getting the girls, usually these are the frat guys. Keep in mind that a lot of them are not going to add you and will probably going to question you why you are adding them, especially when you have no mutual friends at first. Let it be known you’re not a threat to them, and ask something like you’re going to transfer there next year and want to meet new people, and they seem cool.

Leisurely befriend them once they added you, otherwise you will trigger their “another value-craver wanting to ride with the big dogs” radar. Comment on their status or photo, show them you’re one cool dude. Ask them when are they having a party at their house, and look up for the events they are hosting or attending. When you go on their campuse one, be sure to have girls with you or find them around cammpus before going in.

When you get in the party, your job is to find out who the frat brothers are, who will likely be the ones monitoring and working the party. Don’t focus too much on partying but instead on networking and meeting people. Chat up with the brothers and help them if you can.

Getting girls are not your main priority here since you want to befriend the guys there. Help the other guys meet girls. Be the value-giver and pick up some girls and be willing to hand them over to the frat brothers..

Even though they are part of a fraternity doesn’t mean they don’t have fear in picking up girls. Wing for the guys, especially if you’re good at pickup, let it be shown and pick the girls up and let the guys have them. You are at their party remember.

Play the host and make sure everybody is having a good time, and you will be seem like a brother too there to the girls, and just ask the girls how they are doing and if they want more alcohol. This is the easiest way to meet them.

Stay there until the party is over, this is when there will be less people and usually it will be the brothers who will still be there. Be willing to help clean up or offer any assistance. They will notice you and remember you, and just talk with them. Let them know you are a cool guy, and tell them how awesome party that was, and be sure to get their contact information.

Remember you have to offer value and bring something to the table to them, or else you will just be another value-craving drunk guy crashing their parties trying to get their girls.

Become a regular by acting like a regular, ask when the next party will be and tell them you’re brining girls.

These small connections will grow exponentially, but be sure to nourish them or they will wither, and you will be meeting hot girls or cool friends who could introduce you to hot girls.

That’s how you meet girls in college.

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Here we have you talking to a woman, and you start to think “What is the best way to come across with this girl?” “Do I sound weird?” “Should I talk faster to get her excited, or should I talk slower to draw her in and mesmerize her?”

Now this is when social calibration comes in my friend. Social calibration is optimizing your social performance for that particular situation for desired outcome you want.

Think about what you are trying to accomplish when you are talking to the girl.

When you’re in a loud night club, with all the other stimuli going around, do you think it would be best suited to speak in a calm and relaxed voice with everything competing to get girls’ attention?

Do psychologists ever talk in an energetic and fast paced tone to establish trust with their patients to get them toreveal their deep dark secrets?

Talk energetically when you want to get attention and people to focus on you.

Talk slowly and rhythmically if you want to build a deeper connection.

Ideal social calibration transition in a night club meeting a girl, start out being energetic and animated to keep her attention, and then change to that calm and slow voice when you are going for that rapport.

Loud and energetic grabs the attention on you and make you memorable, but to carry that deeper into a connection, go slow and paced.

fast and energetic = attention-grabbing and keeping focus on you (superficial)

slow and calm = profound and stronger impact/persuasive (deep)

If the interaction is already strongly focused on you, speak in a slow and rhythmic voice; however if there are possibility for distraction, revert back energetic and animated to keep the attention on you and to get it back when distractions do occur.

Some great examples are go on YouTube and watch some of Leonardo DiCaprio’s 1-on-1 interviews, notice how articulate he talks and calm and controlled he paced himself.

There isn’t any need to talk loud or energetic to grab any attention because there are no potential outside distractions and regardless though, he pulls the audience in without trying.

If there is no need to talk energetically to put you in the spotlight and communicate your point across, talk slowly. Talking fast-paced and energetic requires a lot more energy, it’s best to be resourceful with your energy.

Remember it’s all about social calibration.

There are typically two types of social dynamics interactions classified you used when you go out: structural and natural. Being structural is when you are utilizing any structured linear method of socializing, almost like an already rehearsed social performance that you have successfully done before, hence a specific routine.

An example of this would be adopting the classic M3 Model contributed by the pick-up artist Mystery, in which you start off attracting the girl followed by building comfort with her and then seducing her, broken down into different phases, A1, A2, A3, C1, C2, C3, S1, S2, and S3. (For those who are unfamiliar with the M3 Model, these respectively parallel to Opening, Female-to-Male Interest, Male-to-Female Interest, Conversation, Connection, Intimacy, Foreplay, Last Minute Resistance, and Sex)

And by being natural, you are basically in the moment and winging it, but that doesn’t mean you are NOT adopting some kinds of a little bit of a structure because every now and then, something will just come into your head when you are being in the moment that will cause you to do a component of a social performance, part of that routine, which could be the same joke you have told your friends or stories.

In this case of interacting to a girl for example, if you opened her and have been natural for only a minute and realized that she is already attracted to you, you have already skipped all the attraction needed to be built and no longer need to stay on that same base; and you can go into some routines you have told over and over again you realized that work magic to building comfort with a girl, but not necessary the exact same things. (You are editing your social performance.)

But how do you become natural where you can wing it, but most importantly do it right, instead of coming off as a creep or a wimp.

Well, if you look at some of the best pickup-artists today who were formerly socially unaware, you will realize almost all of them started out using some sorts of structure to guide them to transforming into a natural, if they did not, they were already naturals to begin with; and they got so familiar with that structure that it became ingrained into their brain where now they do everything effectively that gets the girl subconsiously and spontaneously without even thinking about it, which to everybody else appears natural.

Remember when you were a kid first learning how to read?

You know I always thought it was pointless to learn the letter of the alphabet, but now I realized that it was a learning phase to being a spontaneous, natural reader. First they taught you the alphabet, then the alphabetical phonics, and then using the structural mnemonic sounds of the letters, you became a natural, sponatneious reader able to pronounce every new word you come across.

This is the same thing for social dynamics. You wouldn’t properly start out if you weren’t giving some guidelines or structures, or else you would be doing a lot of social miscalibration by trying to go all natural; hence, come across as unnatural. Why does social miscalibration matter?.

Well, I could make a huge list, but one reason is you could unintentionally come across a creeper or weirdo and loss a lot of social proof. Other girls will notice that, and your chance are slim to getting her because as you aware, girls are always thinking about their status, and with you already being the creep, she doesn’t want to be affiliated with a creep.

Now I am not saying one is better than the over, or vice-versa, but I do advocate using both in synergy to achieve absolute social skills mastery because that is exactly where you will want to be eventually!

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What is game? Game is a metaphor we used in the dating world to desensitize or objectify what we experience out in the field so we won’t take it personally. And I admit, it can hurt. There will be nights when you will regret having gone out than if you had stayed home and wish that you haven’t gone out. What is this feeling? It can be depression, dissatisfaction, disappointment, embarrassment, failure, etc.

But this is a process, and if you ever want take your game to the next level you have to experience those pains for those will be the learning experiences for you to absorb so you then can polish your social intuition and calibration. In fact, don’t even pay attention on these negative emotions for they will drain you and cause you to have a less objective reflection on your social performance. Reframe all this in “what can I learn from this?”

This is a great mindset to always have…”what can I learn from this?” As studies show, those people who are most successful in life are those who never gives up and have the gift of persistence that everybody lacks causing them to give up immediately at the sign of opposition.

“When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.”

Dating and meeting women is no different from that. Those that are most consistently successful are bond to also shows signs of success in other areas because their life are well made out and balanced, supporting each other like a pyramid of necessity that drives deep inner human emotions ingrained in all of us.

So you are out in a bar and you approach a girl, you get the girl talking, you two are dancing having fun and laughing, and you think to yourself, “Already, I have this chick now!” and spend the entire evening only with her, then all of a sudden she pulls away and acts like she hasn’t met you. Confused? Instead of dwelling on the negative emotions of failure or dissatisfaction, thank them for the lessens you have learned.

Maybe you were too clinging and needy latching on to her the whole night and so will need to break give her some space, or you were talking too much, or not contributing enough to the interaction. Whatever it is, put your ego aside and reflect upon it to realize the bigger picture, which is to develop your skills in the long run instead of banging yoru head against the wall over one minor loss; that is how the game can be beaten.